Open letter to my family and friends:
(dated: 2/12/2017)
I’ve really struggled with my birthday this year. It gave me a feeling of anxiety – which I have slowly tried to work through. Around it predominantly has been my own expectations around celebration; historically the fuss I have made around everyone else’s milestones and the importance I have perceived society puts on it. Somehow occasions have become something we celebrate with food, drink and certain amount of opulence with our ‘loved ones’. This too often involves including people we feel we ‘ought to’ – and slowly (for me) it begins to loose meaning and becomes something obligatory. The build up to a customary celebration leaving me feeling devoid. I’d looked to others for example, but struggled not understanding how some can go all out with celebrating joyously and some can be so content with a simple ordinary day. But to be honest it really all depends on what you choose for yourself, your understanding of the occasion and your intention. For me all this has been muddled – potentially causing the anxiety. Not being able to answer – what is it I want and what does it mean to me. All meaning has been lost in all the commercialism and social norm of celebrating.
So I’ve asked repeatedly in the past few weeks, ‘what does my birthday mean to me?’ and ‘what do I want on this day?’.
In the case of the first question – It’s not like an anniversary which symbolises a celebration of a union (quite straightforward – celebrate if you are still into each other!), or other holidays which we celebrate like Chirstmas or Valentines etc. Birthdays are quite personal. And I begin to recognise that (as I get older) my birthday is less about me and more about the people who put me here – (esp) my parents, my husband, my siblings, my children, my family, my friends and the people I’ve met along the way – who have remained part of my journey. So it really is about taking a step back, of awareness and gratitude – This fills me with a sense of abundance and gratefulness. Sounds like I’ve gone full circle to end up in a clichè, a hallmark card saying, an Instagram #gratitude quote! However, taking the time to work it out allows it to ring true to me – it chips away at the wariness I’ve been feeling.
In the case of the latter – on this occasion, it is nothing more. Simple things, like a relaxing day, a manicure, time with friends, a nice bottle of wine and of course Cake! So back to the original conundrum of celebrating with people around food and drink – but now it does make sense that birthdays can just be about being with the ones you love and doing something that gives you joy or doing absolutely nothing at all. It doesn’t even need to be on ‘the day’ or all squeezed into one day (oh joy, here arises the possibility of ‘birthday week’)! It is any opportunity to mark an occasion however and whenever it will bring you joy.
I didn’t expect it to be so much about how I framed it. I hadn’t previously realised the power of our perception in this scenario. It has totally altered my feelings of my birthday for me. So the end result might be the same – but the knowledge of ones purpose and meaning changes the whole situation. Recognition and the practice of our authentic intention creates such fulfilment in the simplicity of the day.
So everyday, and especially today – I take stock of my good fortune to be here with you in my life. From the bottom of my heart – Thank you.
Superfit Superfly 